I Felt Ashamed to Tell People That I Am A War Veteran.

Unless I knew it was another Veteran, it just made conversations difficult and uncomfortable. 

After coming back from Iraq in 2005 and being released back into the civilian world in 2006, I knew my life had changed forever. I had to hide my emotions, didn’t understand how to handle the rage, anger, or depression, and never felt at-ease talking to anyone else about what I was going through.   

I Ran Away to the Army After 9/11.

I was born in a rural town in Southeast Missouri. My parents divorced TWICE by the time I was six years old. After that, I lived split between a single dad and a Christian fundamentalist mother who remarried and divorced two more times before I could escape to the military. 

I was kicked out of High School in the first month of my Freshman year. I was working dead-end jobs, getting arrested by the police, and being thrown in and out of juvenile detention, until I realized I had no future and asked my parents to let me go into the military in 2002. My dad was quick to sign, he saw I was wasting my life. But I had to beg my mom to sign the paperwork for me to join at 17.

Surprisingly, I succeeded very well in the Army…but I got F*CKED UP after Iraq.

I Needed a Reset, A Fresh Start…

I made E-5 within three years and at 20 years old I got deployed AGAIN in 2005 with 12 Soldiers I was responsible for — Yet, after that second deployment, I couldn’t play the game anymore and got out. 

By 2012, I had dealt with losing a house in the market crash, multiple failed relationships with friends and family, working in a Federal prison system that had me going home every night and drinking until I passed out.

So I sold all my sh*t and moved to Mexico. I cashed in my TSP and decided to open up a gym. Then a second gym. After that I met a woman, fell in love, and got married. From the outside, my life was great. But I was still struggling with depression, PTSD, and TBI’s that still hadn’t been diagnosed yet which were ruining my relationships. 

I finally hit rock bottom after being blindsided by my wife that she was cheating on me.

With someone I considered a best-friend, a fellow Army Vet I served with, who I helped move his family to Mexico. It was an all out death spiral from there with suicide attempts, closing my business, and running away from Mexico vowing never to return. 

In That Darkest Moment, I Truly Found Myself.

I realized I was truly all alone in the world. I had no “home” to go back to, no “family” or “friends” that would coddle me or take me in. The VA refused to provide me treatment because I lived outside of the country. There was no one but me. So I went out on a journey…

After traveling to multiple countries, learning different cultures, exploring multiple historic sites, and partaking in multiple Ayahuasca ceremonies, I finally realized that this world is bigger than just me and what I do. This world is about connection and love. 

Even after all the hurt, betrayal, loss of friends, and horrific experiences during the Global War on Terrorism.

This world still has so much to offer and there is so much I still have yet to learn. 

The Beginning of Veterans Growth Guild

By mid-2022 I moved to Raleigh, North Carolina to finally start receiving care for my newfound diagnosed PTSD, Depression, and TBIs. It is still a struggle to reintegrate back into civilian life and live in the United States. 

I noticed there were a lot of organizations and businesses who gave a lot of “lip service” saying they were here for Veterans, but very little action was taken. Trust me, I reached out to Every. Single. One. With over 50,000 Veterans in Wake County alone and nowhere to actually go for peer support or understanding of the struggles Veterans battle daily — something had to change.

This is why I created the Veterans Growth Guild. I wanted a place I would be comfortable attending and to be of service to those who were willing to risk it all for this country. It is a place for men who are looking to expand and deepen their sense of self-learning and camaraderie with other Veterans. 

I want to be apart of something that is designed to help men continue their journey and exploration deeper into the realms of mental clarity, relational communication, and actualizing their potential, fully. 

Veterans Growth Guild is here to give the support you need to face your unique inner obstacles and use them to propel you forward, rather than hold you back or keep you stuck in a loop repeating the same mistakes over and over again. It’s not going to be easy, but you wouldn’t be here right now if you always took the easy route in life. 

The Results?

Honoring Service, Inspiring Transformation

Veterans Growth Guild’s Core Values

  • We believe in the strength of brotherhood and the power of shared connections while committing to building bonds that uplift, support, and create a lasting community.

  • We embrace change as a catalyst for personal transformation and advocate that continuous learning, self-discovery, and adaptation are the cornerstones of growth.

  • We acknowledge each veteran’s unique journey and offer support by listening with empathy, responding with care, and acting with kindness.

  • We conduct our mission with he utmost ethical standards, transparency, and honesty by holding ourselves accountable to our veterans, our community, and the values we represent.